Trust is a choice 7 ways to build trust with others Trust is a choice 7 ways to build trust with others FBI agents spend a great deal of time learning how to build trust with others. For that reason an agent’s most useful investigative tool is the interview. This is where trust is built - nose to nose, knee to knee. We need information from the people we talk to, and they need to know they can trust us in return.Trust is at the heart of every business because trust forms the basis of every relationship. Entrepreneurs, small business owners, and leaders need to work with people both inside and outside of their organization to create mutually beneficial relationships.Trust is a choice. If we know how to build trust with others, it means they have confidence that we will keep our word. They trust that we are exactly who we say we are, and that we won’t desert them when times get tough.Trust is give and take. It means you’ve found a way to relate to other people in a way that is meaningful to them.One of today’s most essential skills is to learn how to build trust with others. Here are 7 ways that I have found useful in highly volatile situations that were filled with uncertainty, and where trust was critical:1. Follow through with actionsThe reason you build trust with others is so that people know that you will follow through when you’re assigned a task. You earn a reputation as someone who doesn’t break your commitment.If you do need to break a commitment, communicate it early and treat it as renegotiation. With consistent follow through with actions, you are seen as someone who is reliable and trustworthy.How To Make It Work For You: It’s as simple as this - keep your word. Not only does this strategy communicate to others that you respect their time as much as your own, it signals that you expect the same consideration from them.2. Develop good communication skillsIt’s important to never leave a conversation until all parties are clear on what is expected of them. This is crucial in any negotiation or settlement discussions. Clarify the agreement because if someone’s expectations are not met, trust is forfeited. This is most common when sensitive issues like money are involved in the conversation.We learn how to build trust with others by give and take. Trust doesn’t happen when you avoid the difficult details and hope the other person understands. Trust is built when you have the difficult conversation and you’re able to communicate why the conversation is important.How To Make It Work For You: Very often the message we send to others is not the one we intended to send. If you’re not sure how you come across, ask a friend to listen to you and get their feedback.Just as often, even if we do send the right message, the way in which the other person perceives it might convey a different meaning to them. Before you leave a conversation, loop back and say, “This is what I heard you say … is that accurate?”3. Practice patienceAs the spokesperson for the FBI in Northern California, I experienced incredible pressure from reporters to meet deadlines. As a result, I became inflexible and short-tempered with the people around me. It became difficult to build trust with others because the message I sent was that my time was more important than theirs.The rush to get things done tends to create an uncomfortable environment. It’s easy for people to feel left out or unimportant if they can’t make a direct contribution to the crisis at hand.How To Make It Work For You: Pressure can be good, but too much of it can leave a person impatient and inflexible. It takes time to build trust with others so make them feel just as important as the crisis that lurks over your shoulder. You’ll always have a crisis to handle; you may not have another opportunity to gain that person’s trust in you.4. Establish a culture of purposeSuccessful business owners understand that their company exists because it improves the lives of their customers. The only reason a customer or client pays for the company’s services is because it provides a clear benefit.Chris Edmonds talks about the importance of a healthy, purposeful culture in his book, The Culture Engine. Organizations that are successful don’t try to make their people happy at work. Instead, they create a culture where trust is produced because they share a clearly stated purpose.The culture of purpose for FBI agents is Fidelity, Bravery, and Integrity. Once any one of those tenants is abrogated or compromised, there is a breakdown of trust. Read current news to understand that this is what the FBI is experiencing at the present moment.How To Make It Work For You: Create a purpose narrative that reinforces the reason your company or work group exists. It helps to build trust with others when you find colleagues or customers who were helped by someone in your department or company and then share these stories with others.5. Mirror other peopleA good way to build trust with others is to mirror their mannerisms. Neuro-linguistic researchers have found links between our mind, language, and behavior. The three primary modes through which people react to the world around them are visual (seeing), auditory (hearing), and kinesthetic (feeling).These sensory channels become important when we built trust with others because they help us relate to people in a way that is meaningful to them. Pay attention to the language that a person uses- chances are, they will follow one of the following three patterns in their speech. Sounds like … a lot of information. Looks like … a lot to learn. Feels like … more than I can handle. How To Make It Work For You: If someone expresses themselves using a feeling word, use a feeling word to respond. If someone is an auditory person, use sounds to bring home your point: “it sounds like a thousand people in the room.” For visual people, ask them what the issue “looks” like to them.6. Notice their wordsWhen people are passionate about something, they use words that are freighted with meaning. The first step is to notice the words they use that are full of energy. Here are some energy words another person may use in a conversation that point to their emotional state: Disappointed Baffled Cautious Confused Grateful Hesitant Interested Relaxed Surprised Uncertain Nervous The list goes on … How To Make It Work For You: After you have noticed the way a person uses an energy word, repeat it, and then pause. When you repeat the word, and then pause, it alerts them to the fact that you 1) notice their concern, 2) have validated it, and 3) given them an opportunity to further elaborate.7. Admit you don’t have all the answersIt takes genuine confidence in yourself to admit you don’t know something, but this simple act of trust on your part speaks volumes to the people who hear it. Your team will understand that you are an honest and open person.When you show your vulnerabilities, it helps to build trust with others because they will see you as someone like them, someone who doesn’t have all the answers.How To Make It Work For You: Trust is reciprocal, so the more you trust others, they more likely they will trust you. Trusting others also requires you to take a risk because you cannot always predict their response.This article first appeared on LaRaeQuy.com.
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The 3 Keys to a Successful Job Search in 2017 Over the past 15 years I’ve worked with thousands of job seekers, and I’ve seen a common thread among them all as they set out to job search. They’re very knowledgeable in one area of their job search but lack experience in the other areas. A great resume but a weak interviewer—or really great networking, but they don’t have a solid resume to market their value. To conduct a successful, effective, and short job search you need to understand three main areas. Below I’m going to share three key areas to focus on and what each one means to your job search success. First, I want to touch on the fact that what one job seeker may consider a successful job search is not the same as another. You may consider a successful job search to be a really short one—having offers lined up before exiting your current place of employment. Yet, for someone else a successful job search means landing the position they’ve dreamed about, labored towards, and sought after for 10 long years. Still others may consider having multiple offers to choose from, increased salary/earning potential, or being excited about going to work on Monday morning a successful job search. No matter what your ultimate goal is—where you are (your point A) or where you want to be (your point B), there are three essential areas you need to focus on to get you there. KEY AREA #1: THE MATERIALS The materials you use for your job search are an important tool to help open doors to opportunities. These materials include your resume, LinkedIn profile, cover letter, value proposition letter, career biography, thank-you letters, online portfolios, professional websites or blogs, and more. These documents share more about who you are professionally. They help you to get past applicant tracking software to an actual person, they provide critical data that allow an employer to evaluate your fit for an opening. They’re a vital part of the candidate-screening process and whether HR will decide to interview you. The problem is that some job seekers believe all you need are great documents and the process of job searching will be easy and painless. This simply isn’t the case. A resume or LinkedIn profile is only part of your job search. Don’t base the success of your job search efforts on the resume alone. It’s only a tool and it cannot job search for you, it cannot interview for you, network, tap into the hidden job market, schedule informational interviews, or conduct any other part of your search. A resume is a critical piece because it’s the initial method of evaluation, so it’s vital that it communicates clearly the value you offer the employer and how your past experience is a perfect fit for a new position. I urge you to keep a balanced mindset when it comes to these materials. They’re not your entire job search. They are tools at your disposal—so although they’re important, they aren’t everything. If you need help creating a standout resume, here are some visually engaging resume samples to provide inspiration. KEY AREA #2: THE METHODS The methods you use to job search are where the rubber meets the road. You can have a perfectly written resume, but it won’t be very fruitful if you never use it. There’s wisdom in a diversified job search. Educating yourself on the different methods for job searching` is one of the wisest decisions you can make because while you can hire an expert to write your resume you can’t hire someone to job search for you. And you’d better know HOW to job search effectively and HOW to use the different techniques. Otherwise you’ll end up frustrated, defeated, and searching much longer than you should be. I strongly advise you to educate yourself about the different methods of job searching. The big trap job seekers fall into when it comes to searching is the wrongly held belief that job boards and online applications are the ONLY way to search for a job. They believe this is where all the jobs are and they don’t know where else to look. I encourage you to research other methods for job searching and employ them. According to this 2017 Global Recruiting Trends survey conducted by LinkedIn, 48% of new hires come from employee referrals. This means networking is a critical component in your job search. I love to research and read what thought leaders in my industry are saying; and if you’re a researcher like me, then you can probably dig around and find a treasure of information on job search methods that you can start utilizing right away. Find some job search coaches and follow them on LinkedIn, read their blogs, follow their articles. Incorporate the advice they share. There’s a wealth of free job searching advice from top names in the industry; you just have to take the time to look. If research is not your thing, or you simply don’t have the time to invest in learning how to job search and employ different methods on your own, I would advise you to find a solid job search coach who knows what they’re talking about and strengthen this major area of weakness. If you believe Monster and Indeed are the only ways to find a job—GET HELP NOW. Don’t wait. It could mean the difference between a job search that takes 6 weeks and one that takes 6 months. If you want a referral to a trusted job search coach, feel free to leave me a comment and I can pass along the name and contact information of a couple of colleagues I trust that they know what they’re talking about. A job search is much more than a job board, job search aggregate, or professional networking site. If you don’t have the time necessary to invest in educating yourself on HOW to job search effectively in 2017’s job market, then I would urge you to find a job search coach immediately. It will be worth it to have an expert quickly teach you methods, strategies, and techniques you can use now to shorten your job search, find opportunities no one else knows about, and have a choice between offers. KEY AREA #3: THE MEETINGS It would be such a disappointment to go through all the work of creating a compelling resume, learning how to job search to open doors to opportunities, and then have poor interviewing skills hold you back from the offer. I see job seekers struggle every day with poor interviews, lack of knowledge in salary negotiation, or even the belief that they cannot or should not negotiate salary and benefits. Maybe even worse, I’ve seen candidates accept the first offer that comes along, even if it’s a terrible culture fit. Meetings can include networking meetings; informational interviews; telephone interviews; in-person interviews; panel or group interviews; second, third, or last interviews. Don’t take it for granted that you intuitively know how to interview and think this is not an area where you could use advice and insight. We can all learn and grow—and interviewing is no different. Just like the time you need to invest in learning HOW to job search, you should be learning HOW to interview. Have a friend in HR or someone who does lots of interviews? Practice with them, ask questions, gain insight—get their advice on what they look for when interviewing. If you don’t have someone in your network that you can reach out to for help, find information online. It took me 10 seconds to do a search and find this free webinar: http://careerconfidential.com/how-to-answer-interview-questions-training-webinar/. Check YouTube, look for career experts on LinkedIn, and then check out their websites, articles, YouTube channels, and SlideShare presentations. Most experts are already publishing their advice and expertise online, and with some time invested in researching it you can find a wealth of great information to help you along the way. As with job searching, if you don’t have the time to do the research, find a reputable career coach who can walk you through and practice interviewing with you. They can offer insights, advice, great practice, talk you through the difficult task of salary and benefits negotiation, and support and encourage you through the process. I also want to take a minute to stop and add that you do not have to invest thousands and thousands of dollars into resume writing, job search, and interview coaching. If that’s not in your budget you can take the time to research yourself. There are also MANY career experts at all ends of the financial spectrum. You can find great resume writers and coaches who don’t charge $10,000-$20,000 for their services and who would be a great fit to help and provide their experience and expertise. My word of caution to you would be to check credentials and years of experience. Due diligence, friends! Review their website and samples, check their LinkedIn recommendations. These will give you a good indication of whether the service or coach you want to work with is the best fit for you. A well-rounded job search is the key to your job search success in 2017. I cannot emphasize this enough. Don’t get stuck on just the resume, only the job search, or stress about the interviews. Invest time learning and growing in each area. The benefit of investing the time to learn NOW is that you will carry that knowledge with you throughout the rest of your career and it will continue to pay dividends. Here are a few tips for you to take with you on how to conduct a well-rounded job search: Networking in earnest. With those you’re connected to and those you’re not connected to. Seek out referrals. Employee referrals made up 48% of new hires in the past 12 months as reported by the 2017 Global Trends survey conducted by LinkedIn. Research Target Employers. It’s much more than figuring out who you want to work for—it’s finding out who works there, what the culture is like, and what the company’s biggest pain point is and how you can solve that problem. Then it’s reaching out to the decision maker and communicating why you’re the solution. Tap into the hidden job market using informational interviews, cold calling, direct mail, and other means. Find the right recruiters for YOU and start the conversation. Use social media, online presence, and job boards without spending all your time there. These are great but they aren’t always the answer. Most experts advise investing only 20% of your job search time here because the medium is so flooded. Your time is actually better invested in networking and word-of-mouth referrals, which delivers a 7 to 1 positive response rate, whereas job boards and online job searches using ATS offer only 250 to 1. Remember, it’s important to possess knowledge and strength in all 3 key areas to ensure the success of your job search. It’s not about a strength in 1 area—it’s about being strong in all 3; the materials you use to search with, the methods you use to search, and the meetings that come from the methods. Invest in yourself and your future career success. It pays dividends in the areas of earnings potential, financial stability, career satisfaction, long-term career growth, and in many other ways.
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